皇帝万岁爷 - 皇上万岁万岁，万万岁.

2010-03-20T04:42:00.002+08:00

wah, nina .. kerlikerle
belly belly long neh blog already.
can almost see the cobwebs growing in my blog.
and peeps, i'm attatched now! ;D
i love my beloved girl, lim xinhui a.k.a my sugarbii. ;D
alright, back to my drama!
ADIOS!

2009-12-27T22:01:00.003+08:00

jetstar eastin hotel - $502
thai airways grand diamond hotel - $564
thai airwayseastin hotel - $574
thai airways baiyoke sky hotel - $WTF$

2009-12-27T01:45:00.003+08:00

start praying for forgiveness,
for i will crush your pathetic mind.
everyone is selfish,
each man for himself.
i want you dead,
you'll go to your paradise.

i seek for truth,
from the liar's eyes.
i seek for wealth,
from the beggar's words.
i seek for life,
from the murder's breath.

pray for blood.
pray for gore.
pray for anything bad.

heed the Prince of Darkness,
you'll go far.
heed the pathetic angels,
down you go.

2009-12-26T01:58:00.002+08:00

she said: i'm not interested in any further relationship with you.

my thoughts:

#1: thank you for letting me lay down those heavy stones.

if she hadn't rejected me up front,
i would still be fretting over how to win her heart.
now that i dont need to,
i felt much lighter,
much better.
thanks for the memories.

#2: thank you Jack, for your nuggets of wisdom.

if it hadn't for jack,
i think i would be crying all the way till tmr,
and probably continue crying for a longer period of time.
i didnt know with Jack's counselling,
i could erase my uncomforts with such ease
and thus,
seperating my frowning eyebrows,
and the almost immediate drying of my hollow eyes.

2009-12-25T21:52:00.003+08:00

his heart is always calling out to you,
every minute.
he yearns for your love,
but he never got it.
he's been thinking a lot lately,
those words you said to him,
he's rehersing it now.

he needs you now.
where are you?
he wants you now.
you told him to give up on you.

never did you realise,
every little thing you did for him,
meant more than his life.
never did you realise,
he is having an uptight stuggle within his fragile heart.
never did you realise,
that he's not about to give up,
never.

sitting at the staircase during dawn,
many thoughts went through his head.
his body encourages him to give up.
but girl did you know,
that his heart told him to carry on?
he's having such a stuggle,
but girl,
where were you when he needed you?
he's always by your side,
observing and looking out for you,
if you have the need.
but it seems that you dont need him at all.

went home with an utmost shattered heart,
he resisted the thought of giving up.
he still wishes to carry on.
he's been forcing a smile throughout the whole of last night.
he held his tears back tightly.
then came a time that he couldn't take it anymore,
and broke down at the staircase during dawn.

girl,
he loves you very much.
he really does.
it really saddens him,
when he realises that you hardly care and concern him at all.
it hurted him,
when you told him to give up on you.

he has to make his statement real clear:
you're the only girl in his mind.
all he wanted is just L.O.V.E,
he's been unloved for a long time.
that's the reason why he turned to metal,
instead of sentimental.
he needed that someone to change him,
and no doubts,
it's you girl.

he loves you to that extend that,
even if you lied to him and said you like/love him,
or pretended that you actually care for him,
he will feel contented.
all he ever wanted is L.O.V.E

he's willing to give up everything for you,
he's ready.
he wanted to last with you,
would you give him the chance?
would you L.O.V.E him?
are you willing to change him,
to a loveful man,
instead of the loveless shell he's living in?

he did not feel so much for a girl like that before,
crying for her,
observing and at the same time,
taking care of her silently,
loving her silently.
that's because that's the only thing he can do now,
he's worst than a helpless 3 year old kid.
love to him,
is not about status, looks and cash.
love to him,
is something sacred,
something special in his heart,
which he had always desired, yearned and wished for,
everyday before he sleeps,
after waking up,
in between meals,
within his naive dreams.

-end of story-

2009-12-25T05:54:00.002+08:00

Reasons why Christmas sucks this year:

#1: I wasted $20 on Alcova's ticket

Friends and i went there and it was so disappointing.
we got the tickets, but clowns just have to quarrel with the staffs there,
and police raided the whole GOD-DAMNED place.

#2: It HURTS.

She was like showing more care and concern to other people,
everyone but me.

#3: She told me to give up.

#4: Ass-Clown flirted with her.

things are not just what i had expected it to be.
no one told me life was a bed of roses.
i'm a stubborn guy.
i WILL carry on going after her even though i know it'll hurt me worse than hell.

i might shut out from this world,
i've been going after the thing i've always wanted,
never did i find it.

all i ever needed is you to show me some care and concern,
even a little would made my day.

2009-12-24T00:05:00.002+08:00

以前我看到朋友哭，我很羡慕。
可是我怎么都我自己，怎么弄我自己，
我的眼泪都流不出。
总觉得能够哭的朋友，都很幸福。
能够把满腔的无奈，满腔的痛苦，
让泪水带走。

最后是泪水啃在心头流不出，
就像要爱，却不懂怎么去爱。
自己哭过后，才明白：
流过泪的眼睛，将生命看得更清楚。

只有真正懂得付出的人，
才懂得何谓哭，又为何哭。
再坚强的心，偶尔也会脆弱。
心会痛，心也会感动。

只有曾经真心懂得付出的人，
才懂得何谓哭，又为何哭。
泪水要记得为真心保留，
眼泪别白白的流。

2009-09-27T23:49:00.004+08:00

hey people!
attended weide's birthday party today!
a real wild one!
how wild?
to the extend that he was forced to kiss me and dominic,
do sex positions with dominic,
and to pole dance and sing barney song for his mom.
that's how.

too bad, i couldn't attend the prawning outing with them.
quarrelled with my father.
i really wonder if he cared for any of us in the family.
i've been living with my mother for 18 years of my life.
he's like,
almost non-existant.
when i'm younger,
he still brought me out to east coast and cycle,
and to marina south to fly kite.
but now?
he's not even willing to spare 2 hours of his time for his son.
there was once,
many years back,
i was at bugis with my friends and i was really starving and out of cash.
i dont want to borrow from my friends.
so i went up to his house and asked for a mere $5.
he refused to give me and scolded me.
at that point of time,
i felt that,
he really dont care about any of us at all.
no, not at all.

how i wish i can reverse real time,
like how we can reverse the time for our watches.
reverse the time when i'm still younger,
and enjoying fatherly love.
even a little.
just a little will do.

*in this river, there ain't no coming back ..

2009-09-26T15:08:00.002+08:00

Take me down this road
Ive been down here once before
Take me down this road
Once again, never again, forevermore
Take me down this road once more

Take this love
Take this life
Take this blood
Itll never die
Take this love
Take this life
Take this blood
Itll never die
This aint the last goodbye

Take me down this road
Just to see a smile on your face
Take me down this road
All that is and all that was can't be replaced
Take me down this road once more

Take this love
Take this life
Take this blood
Itll never die
Take this love
Take this life
Take this blood
Itll never die
This aint the last goodbye

Take this love
Take this life
Take this blood
Itll never die
Take this love
Take this life
Take this blood
Itll never die
This aint the last goodbye

2009-09-22T02:16:00.002+08:00

还没好好的感受
雪花绽放的气候
我们一起颤抖会更明白什么是温柔
还没跟你牵着手
走过荒芜的沙丘
可能从此以后学会珍惜天长和地久
有时候有时候
我会相信一切有尽头
相聚离开都有时候
没有什么会永垂不朽
可是我有时候
宁愿选择留恋不放手
等到风景都看透
也许你会陪我看细水长流

还没为你剥红豆
熬成缠绵的伤口
然后一起分享会更明白相思的哀愁
还没好好的感受
醒着亲吻的温柔
可能在我左右你才追求孤独的自由

有时候有时候
我会相信一切有尽头
相聚离开都有时候
没有什么会永垂不朽
可是我有时候
宁愿选择留恋不放手
等到风景都看
透也许你会陪我看细水长流

有时候有时候
我会相信一切有尽头
相聚离开都有时候
没有什么会永垂不朽
可是我有时候
宁愿选择留恋不放手
等到风景都看透
也许你会陪我看细水长流

2009-09-22T01:25:00.002+08:00

Back From Bangkok

heys!
bangkok is really a good place.
things are cheap and good.
that trip had really made me realised,
what's expensive.
a bottle of pepsi cost 14 baht there.
so .. what do you think?

bangkok is full of beauties.
but ive always missed only one in singapore.
she's not my gf.
but i dunno why do i miss her so much.
maybe i ..

back to topic ..
thai people are really hard-working people,
and are really earnest in doing their business.
from the way the hairstylist rebond my hair,
i can tell that she is really serious in her work.

there's a flood in bangkok on the third day i was there.
pictures i will upload soon,
not to worry.

had breakfast on the 77th floor of the hotel i stayed at.
it's called Baiyoke Sky.
the tallest building in thailand.
when you're at thailand,
you must bargain!
if not you'll be "chopped" by them.
when taking a taxi,
always ask them to go by meter.
otherwise,
they will knock the living daylights out of you.

want to know more?
follow me to bangkok next time! :)

2009-09-16T00:04:00.002+08:00

hey people,
i've finished packing my luggage.
really excited for tmr.
it's a 5am flight.

wenyuan keep niam me about his thai talisman.
dont worry, i will get it for you.
i'll be away for 5days 4 nights.
which means, i'll be back on sunday.

BANGKOK, HERE I COME!!!!!!!!!

2009-09-15T23:36:00.001+08:00

2009-09-14T20:58:00.001+08:00

Do you know what's worth fighting for?
When it's not worth dying for?
Does it take your breath away,
And you feel yourself suffocating.

Does the pain weigh out the pride?
And you look for a place to hide?
Did someone break your heart inside?
You're in ruins ..

One, twenty-one guns.
Lay down your arms,
Give up the fight.
One, twenty-one guns.
Throw up your arms,
Into the sky.
You and I ..

When you're at the end of the road,
And you lost all sense of control.
And your thoughts haven taken their toll.
When your mind breaks the spirit of your soul.
Your faith walks on broken glass,
And the hangover doesn't pass.
Nothing's ever built to last.
You're in ruins ..

One, twenty-one guns.
Lay down your arms,
Give up the fight.
One, twenty-one guns.
Throw up your arms,
Into the sky.
You and I ..

Did you try to live on your own,
When you burn down the house and home?
Did you stand too close to the fire?
Like a liar looking for forgiveness from a stone.

When it's time to live and let die,
And you can't get another try.
Something inside this heart has died.
You're in ruins ..

One, twenty-one guns.
Lay down your arms,
Give up the fight.
One, twenty-one guns.
Throw up your arms,
Into the sky.
You and I ..

2009-09-13T22:45:00.000+08:00

世界上最毒的果叫：如果。
世界上最坏的道叫：早知道。

世界上有四种人。
第一种，先知先觉。
第二种，后知后觉。
第三种，不知不觉。
最后一种，也就是最可悲的那一种，先知后觉。

*i miss you*

2009-09-08T23:48:00.000+08:00

well well well,
again it's been a long time since i've blog.
basically, went to gym today and trained reall hard. lols!
back to company, got lots to catch up.

I WANT a toyota MR-5!
I WANT to do my mother proud!

2009-08-09T00:52:00.001+08:00

would she hear me, if i call her name ..

i wonder if anyone would miss me, if i just evaporate like that ..

2009-08-09T00:50:00.000+08:00

birthday present from 二姐

2009-07-10T22:02:00.001+08:00

I'VE GOT THE POWER!

2009-07-10T00:33:00.002+08:00

i'm so happy i'm so glad,
that i'm 18!

finally, i've stepped into a new era in life.
the 18th stage,
where i get more freedom from the law.
where i can watch m18 movies.
i'm just so glad that i stepped out of the "kids" era.
real happy to be in this one. :D

excited and yet ..

2009-07-09T15:35:00.003+08:00

hey peeps! tmr is my birthday and i'm all out excited.
but somehow,
i feel lonely.
why?

because i found out that,
although i have all the best friends in the world,
i lack of that particular person/feeling.

everytime i see a couple in the mrt,
i felt that they look so sweet.
but here i am, alone,
listening to my own mp3,
thinking about things to myself.

honestly, that kind of feeling sucks.

感情上的矛盾

2009-07-01T17:08:00.004+08:00

当你爱上一个人的时候，
你会不知不觉地为她付出一切，
不去理会事情的严重与代价。
但是，
在她伤害你了之后，
你才会发现到，
自己有多么的笨，
多么的愚蠢。

但是如果你没付出一切，
她就会说你不爱她。
矛盾吧？

感情上的矛盾往往都会带给我们许多烦恼。
有时候不知是带来烦恼，
还带有一丝丝的后悔。
为什么后悔呢？
应为当我们被另一方伤害的时候，
我们都会想，
为什么我没选另外一个呢？

to neth.

2009-06-30T17:16:00.000+08:00

you aint keeping me up all night, no more.

WOOWEE ~

2009-06-30T00:55:00.001+08:00

TRANSFORMERS 2 IS KICKASS!!!! YEAH!!!!

2009-06-24T22:17:00.000+08:00

DURIAN DAY!

2009-06-21T20:54:00.000+08:00

a story

2009-06-19T00:13:00.004+08:00

guys,
let me tell you all a story.
here it goes:

One day, the King of Hell appeared before Kenneth and brought him to hell,
because he is always suicidal after a tradegic break up. However, the King of Hell would
give him a chance if he decided to change for a better person after the tour down under.
So, Kenneth followed Him in. In Hell, Kenneth saw that many of them are suffering,
not only from the tortures, they suffered from starvation too. That is because in
hell, the chopsticks used for eating is one metre long. Those poor souls are
having a hard time trying to eat as everytime they try to put food into their mouth,
the food always dropped as the chopsticks are too long to reach their hungry mouths.

Then, the King of Hell brought Kenneth to Heaven. However in Heaven, everyone
seemed so happy, cheerful and they smiled with a radiant smile. Then Kenneth saw it.
The chopsticks are also one metre long. What Kenneth saw next shocked him deeply.
He saw that in Heaven, although they eat with a metre long chopsticks, but they feed
each other with the food and they never seem to feel hungry.

So the moral of the story is:
ALWAYS LOOK AT THE BRIGHT SIDE OF LIFE,
NO MATTER HOW HARD THE SITUATION IS.
THAT IS BECAUSE YOU CAN TURN THE TIDE AROUND,
IF YOU LOOK AT ANOTHER ANGLE OF A TOUGH SITUATION.

SO SMILE GUYS!

suana!

2009-06-17T23:08:00.003+08:00

we went suana today.

only me, neil and adam.

li kai couldn't come cos he needs to settle some things.

edwin needs to get his retainer done.

mat's gf came online today and he wants to talk to her.

yeaps.

and we discovered a button that can create more bubbles in the jacuzzi pool.

we have not used it before,

cos we really didnt know about it.

until today,

the guard came and kicked the button.

the button is the 2nd pic.

nowadays ..

2009-06-15T20:21:00.003+08:00

随着经济不景气的压力下，
人们脑海里的杂念越来越多，
导致他们自言自语。

甚至在现实生活中所承受的压力下，
也会让你神精错乱，
漫漫的也会跟自己说话。。

fear

2009-06-14T01:27:00.002+08:00

i'm really afraid,
that history might repeat itself again.
i've waited for so long.
i must succeed.
if i fail again this time,
i might have to spend a couple of months,
to recover.
just like last year.

i dont want a heartwrench anymore.
i dont want to spend my time, pulling a long face.

Class Outing - 8th June 2009 W66A

2009-06-12T22:42:00.000+08:00

2009-06-12T16:45:00.002+08:00

it's few more days to the end of the holiday.
have to retake the fucked up uts.
feeling a little nostalgic though.
looking and those people's blog.
reminds me alot about the past.

like how we used to have fun.
and now,
like total strangers,
who have nothing much to say to each other.

later i need to go teach my father,
how to use his laptop.
and i hope i finish fast.
so maybe can roam about with adam.

2009-06-05T20:42:00.001+08:00

this is sarah's bday. that damned gerald still owe me 2 group pics. ):

2009-06-05T20:38:00.000+08:00

this was last friday. we went suana and jacuzzi.

2009-05-25T13:43:00.001+08:00

2009-05-25T13:40:00.001+08:00

went to loyang tua peh gong yesterday,
to watch the dragon dance competition.
after watching all the teams,
i feel that, i'm not even working hard at all.
their standard is way above mine.

2009-05-23T22:24:00.002+08:00

2009-05-23T22:23:00.002+08:00

guys!
i'm back!
wahaha!
today i went to suana and jacuzzi alone.
thanks to edwin and the si orh jiao.

lol!

2009-05-03T00:30:00.002+08:00

hey peeps,
it's been long since i've blogged.
yea,
really loooooooooooong.
that's because:
THERE'S NOTHING MUCH TO POST ABOUT.

the year one lion dance batch are coming in.
this tuesday will be the start of the official training. wahaha!

2009-04-19T00:44:00.002+08:00

是你我找不到
绝望罢了的态度
人在危难之间
你总赶到

是我太多不知道
道义是你的引导
明日来日
也是你使我自豪

一声好举杯痛饮
醉过了只感到
笑狂笑着
世间冷与酷

岁月无情仍愿意
为你闯开新故事
情和义今天我知
是我不需一再怀疑
世上无情人在变
义气本色不太易
热血的心不太易
但我知
今天到此
生死与你创造名字

2009-04-16T23:05:00.002+08:00

I'm a disgrace to the family.

I always will.

2009-04-12T22:50:00.001+08:00

i can finally let birdbird "stand leg" and "single leg" already!
next target, "sit head".

2009-04-11T00:38:00.002+08:00

life's had been normal for me.
today stayed at home the whole day,
did nothing much.
again,
the loneliness issue struck me.

for the whole day that i'm online,
not a single soul talked to me.
i had to go talk to them,
jio them garena,
then i will have someone to talk to.

except gabrielle.
she's the only kind soul to have initiated the conversation with me.
thanks alot,
you killed my boredom. ;D

birdbird wasn't online today,
so cannot garena.
louis and marcus going out tonight.
never garena.
qijie was about to sleep.
did not garena.

then i played dota by myself.
single player game.

i guess everyone's weakness is being lonely.
some people who doesn't seem to be affected,
is not because they're not afraid of loneliness.
it's because they're USED TO IT.

no man is an island.
we humans are born to make friends.
without friends to be by your side,
it'll be mentally exhausting.
that is because,
you'll have no one to talk to when you're down,
you've got no one to share your joys,
you'll have no one to examine a problem,
you've got no one to help you when you're in trouble.

that's how important friends are.
but i know i'll lose all friends,
only 4ks, ben loh, ah ong and alex soh,
i know i wont lose them.

family is another issue,
that's why i dont bring them in. (:

2009-04-09T21:36:00.001+08:00

Life feels like Hell should
But this Hells so cold
Pull another knife out
Stick it with rest of them
When my back is full
Turn me around to face it
Sob so heavily, we choke, then we die.

2009-04-09T21:21:00.003+08:00

today is just not our day.
me, weide, wenyuan and birdbird went to far east,
for gym.
when we reach there,
"gym out of order. come back on monday"

then we decide to swim.
birdbird no attire so never swim.
i asked the guard.

me: beach wear can or not?
guard: *nod head*

after going to the toilet,
weide suggested that i double confirm with the guard.

me: wear like this can?
guard: no no, cannot. must wear proper attire.

=.='''

i swear she's an idiot.
in the end,
we went to lan at big o instead.
L4D
weide play until want to vomit.
lol!

today's just so wasted.

2009-04-05T21:26:00.000+08:00

this is the abalone.

2009-04-05T21:19:00.003+08:00

today went to celebrate mummy's belated birthday.
go shaw tower's ah yat seafood restaurant.
the waitress say until like real:
"鲍鱼每人一粒."

then in the end,
disappointment.
i took a pic of it. you will see it.

then the next dish that made us disappointed after excitement.
the black pepper crab (crap)
so salty.
plus the crab dont have the black pepper smell.
but over all,
the shark's fin and the noodles are fucking nice.
lol!

well, there's also another disappointing dish.
the steamed prawns.
each person 3 prawns only.
and there're 6 of us.
so only 18 small prawns.
less than half a kilo i guess.

but but!
the price is a fucking knockout.
a fresh coconut cost $4.
total charges including GST and service charge: $248.35

2009-04-05T17:03:00.000+08:00

it's time for me to give up.

2009-04-04T18:30:00.003+08:00

i did not realised it.
until i tried to find someone to talk to,
or find someone to go out with.

i was feeling bored during my bus ride home.
and i smsed a few people.
none of them replied.

only then, i've realised how lonely i am.
i've always think that i have alot of friends.
ah ong, alex soh, ben loh,
4ks, warren.

but i'm so wrong.
i feeling lonely,
and a little bit tired.
i'm sorry to put up the post,
and caused you uneasiness when you read it.
really sorry.

i just want you to talk to me,
the way you did before yesterday.

2009-04-03T14:30:00.002+08:00

i know i'm dumb.
i know it's impossible but i still go ahead.
putting up a false front,
but inside,
it's a totally different situation.

i prayed for her,
and i hope the prayer will come true.

i always hope that she'll be alright,
and indeed she is.

i dont think i would be in her "care and concern" list.
who am i to her anyway?

i dont think she'll worry when i just disappear from here one day,
i dont think she will care if i become a beggar one day,
i dont think she will shed a tear if i'm dead.

who am i to her anyway?

2009-04-01T13:45:00.002+08:00

dear kwan teh gong,

celeste fell down from the stairs,
kah ji chiu ji,
please por bi her that she will recover fast,
and dont ever fall down the stairs again.

gam xia kwan teh gong,
jia png wu hih wu heh wu sotong. ;D

2009-03-31T21:53:00.001+08:00

i waited and waited,
but i didn't heard from her.

2009-03-30T00:44:00.001+08:00

i look at your picture throughout the whole bus ride home.

2009-03-28T01:07:00.000+08:00

the only time when i stopped thinking about her is when i'm busy or trying to concentrate.

2009-03-27T00:21:00.002+08:00

tmr is big day le!
lol!
today went gym,
keep training my legs, chest and forearm.
lol!
now suddenly feel very light.
lol!

人怕时间，时间怕金字塔.

2009-03-25T20:50:00.003+08:00

yea la it's my fucking fault you happy?

if you know that i will hai ni,
then next time dont ask me help you uh!
you 7 za 8 za wake me up to look at numbers and help you sms them,
you use your fucking butt to think can?
i just woke up and confirm will blur de.
ok, i'm sorry i got you into trouble.

but do you have to say until like this?

your 2 looks like a 5 luh,
looks like a 5 written quickly.
many people write 5 like that when they are rushing also.
you want to FUCKING pursue the matter,
then i wont FUCKING help you in future.
you help yourself.
ok?

2009-03-22T00:56:00.003+08:00

WHY?!

why must people see lion dancers as ah bengs?
why can't they just put themselves in other's shoes,
and try to uderstand them?

people have the perception about lion dancers,
they are:
fight over small things,
ah bengs,
rotten eggs,
failure of the society,
vulgar
and low down.

let me tell you peeps,
if you think this way as others do.
let me give you a FUCK YOU.

remember,
NOT ALL ARE LIKE THAT.
although sometimes we use vulgarities like punctuations,
we are still nice people.
please peeps,
grow up and be sensible enough,
DO NOT CRITISISE, CATEGORISE, STEREOTYPE US.
you have just viewed only one side of the story.

put yourself in OUR shoes.
we have our heart wrenching moments too.
when you heard of lion dancers fight,
it is not neccessary that all are like that.
NO.

they fight,
their problem.
not mine.
please see lion dance as a form of art.
same like the profession of nail polish.
yes,
although they have to wash people's feet before putting on the nail paint,
but there are also art involved.
may i ask,

if you people have considered this?
if you people really stopped to give a thought?
if you people really appreciate art?

i'll just tell you your answers for the 3 questions.
NO.

so please,
do not stereotype people for just what you see,
or simply heard.
CHILDISH.

2009-03-19T19:32:00.000+08:00

2009-03-19T19:29:00.002+08:00

i lost weight!!!!!
ARRGGHH!!!!!!
when i was in sec 1 to 4,
my weight is ALWAYS above 50.
now?
46.6. =.='''

how i know?
cos i went to gym with ah ong and weide today.
then we have to measure our weight,
to see what weight range is suitable for us.
lol.

we tried all sorts of machines there.
train and train and train.
now my hands suddenly felt so light.
lol!
and i know tmr i'm gonna ache.
ache all over. ;D

2009-03-17T23:11:00.003+08:00

风空洞吹过一年又这么过
思念独舞成旋涡
雪失魂飘落明年该怎么过
思念撑不过寒冬

承诺太沉重你背不到最后
任凭我独自坠落
是我太执着就像那残留的灼火
微微弱弱颤抖

用所有爱过的回忆原谅着你
恨自己不能把过去放弃
此刻我却无能为力
我们的爱变成我自己的悲剧

干枯的眼眸留下一道裂缝
掩饰不了的伤口
荒凉的北风一阵阵刺进我胸口
拒绝着我的痛

无法忘记无法痊愈
我越是清醒越怕失去你
怪我太任性只盼时间将伤痕抹去
恨你我无能为力

用所有爱过的回忆原谅你
恨自己不能把过去放弃
你和谁创造新回忆
我一个人的悲剧不奢求你感激

i love this song.
石欣卉 - 无能为力

2009-03-15T01:06:00.002+08:00

2009-03-15T01:03:00.002+08:00

went for kj's birthday.
lol!
he's finally 18.
and me...?
still 17.
need to wait till july.

anyway,
we went for initial d,
then we went to beach cabana to drink.
ordered a barrel.
kj!
you 18 already still dont dare drink so much?
how could you?
lol!
after that nothing much already.
came straight home.
i tried calling kelly.
but's she's outside. (:

that's it for now.
enjoy!
happy birthday kaijun!
HUAT AH!

2009-03-14T00:46:00.004+08:00

people,
please take a look at those 2 pics at the bottom of this post.
the situation is this:

[chatting]
alex: how come the can inside got sound one?
me: dunno
julie: try pouring out the thing la.
me: maybe the coke put inside the fridge too long then freeze?
[alex started to pour out the contents]
[a small black dot fell out]
alex: ah, ice ah?
me: !!!
julie: !!!
[continue pouring]
[a black thing, pebble sized, fell out]
me: what the fuck is this?!
[continue pouring]
[hardened cigarette butt fell out]
alex: *curse and swear*
what did i drank just now???
me: ...
julie: why you so sway one?
alex: tio 4d also not so heng lor!
me: dont go back and lao sai hor. lol!
alex: never go hospital i happy already ah!
julie: lol

dear readers,
we poured out a hardened cigarette butt from the COKE.
yes, it's Coca-Cola.
note the word hardened.
it has been in the can for god knows how long.
and it's a new can.
there's even gas when we opened.
the funny things is that,
the coke doesn't even tasted funny.
it just proves that it has been there for a llllloooooonnnnnnnngggggg time.

READERS, BUY COCA-COLA AT YOUR OWN RISK.

2009-03-14T00:39:00.001+08:00

2009-03-13T00:02:00.003+08:00

today went to cmpb.
wah lau,
that place very lay cheh.
oya,
i went there to get my deferment done. ;D
you cant bring camera phones in,
so i locked it in a locker that they provided.

after that,
went to chai chee to find cheekah.
it's been sssssssooooooooo long since i last saw him.
it is always good to meet up with old friends. ;D
played basketball and dai dee with them.
lol!
very funny.
cheekah anyhow play cards.

cheekah: aiya, anyhow zuah already, dont care win or lose.
me: luan zuah? beware of diao kia.

lol!

meeting up with more old friends is what i wished.
i havent met ashraf,
i havent met ben loh,
i havent met weide and peeps,
i havent met desmond.
lol!
too many to meet.

till we see again. ;D

2009-03-11T00:16:00.003+08:00

haiz ..
very fan.
she went t see him again.
to seek help for her homework.
never mind la.
as long as she can get her results on track,
i'm contended.

but then again,
i kept thinking.
why will she find him?
i figured out that,
it was my fault.
i did not spend enough time with her.
everytime when i was with her,
it is always very rushing.
yes,
i hardly spend time with her.
that's no wonder why she would went to look for him on sunday.

she took some pics with him.
and it really sadden me alot.
she and him look so sweet.
they can play till very crazy,
at toys r us in tm.
playing till very crazy,
is one thing that we havent done.

i wonder if he will spend as much time as i spend with her.
i wonder if she still have feelings for him.
i wonder if he would be a good guy.

i just dunno.
i'm sorry that i wrote this post baby.
but i have to let my feelings out,
otherwise,
i will fall.

2009-03-09T23:15:00.000+08:00

2009-03-09T22:40:00.005+08:00

today damn suay.
called an arsehole during work.

me: hello, good evening. this is travis( my nickname ) calling from prudential.
can you spare me 2 mins of your time?
he: ( in mandarin ) can you speak chinese?
me: ( in mandarin ) yes i can.
he: what is it? ( rudely )
me: i'm calling you regarding a new saving programme.
he: save what? ( shouted )
me: save money lor. ( nicely )
he: no money save what money?
you lend me money i save lor.
me: ...
he: *line cut*

i swear that fella sibeh guai lan.
i felt like shouting at him,
but i couldn't.
i'm working.
lol!
if i knew who is he,
i would definitely hammer him.
then again, what's the point?
lol.
what goes around comes around,
like i said in my previous post.
he will get what he deserve de,
just the matter of sooner or later.
lol.

saw baby's blog.
was having mixed feelings.
jealousy, anger, sad, hurt.
not a single less.
that is because i saw her pics with her guy friend,
called syl.
she and him like damn close.
i dunno what to do.
haiz ..
very vexed.

ashraf is out of the 7bros.
he quarrelled with glenn and gary.
he said glenn changed quite alot.
that's very unexpected.

*everyone's changing and i dont feel the same.

2009-03-05T23:38:00.002+08:00

sometimes,
people will tend to take things for granted,
without himself or herself,
knowing.
i'm not spared from this fate.
me too,
tend to take things for granted.
if it weren't for my friends and family,
i wouldn't be standing at where am i now.
special credits to Family, Baby and 4ks.
i believe each and everyone of you out there,
depend on a certain person to get to where you are.
dont forget them.
repay them with gratitude.
always remember these on mind readers,

the world is round.
therefore, what goes around comes around.
what goes up must come down.
repay those who have been good to you,
and people will do the same.

i can get here because of the 3 main groups that supported me.
no man is an island.

2009-03-02T22:15:00.002+08:00

first of all,
i'd like to apologise to my beloved.
we haven't met for such a long time.
i know she's longing for my hugs.
but i'm really busy nowadays.
i'm really sorry.

an understanding girl is hard to come by.
she mentioned that she can't be selfish,
and stop me from working and doing my things.
i'm really relieved to see those words.
at least you wont call me every second,
like what one of my ex does.
you should know who you are,
if you are reading my blog.

i'm proud of you, May. ;D

today went to work at helutrans.
i'm working for a reason.
but i'm not telling the reason to anyone.
including baby.
it's a sssssssssecret. ;D

i dont expect any returns,
i dont need praises,
i dont want you to feel bad.

I JUST WANTED TO HELP YOU.

-sign off-
yang love may

2009-02-28T18:15:00.002+08:00

wahaha!
MY HANDPHONE RESURRACTED!
I'M ALIVE AGAIN!
lol
then got one more secret that made me happy.
i shan't say.
shhhhhhhhh....~

today went to interview with gerald at tanjong pagar.
Prudential.
after filling up the form,
we hav to recite a script for them,
see whether can pass or not.
they test us in 2 languages man!
bo huat ah!
me and gerald very nervous.
then my tongue tied twice.
lol!
luckily we passed.
then they said that they will call us on monday,
if we were selected.
if never call...
too bad.
lol!

then went interciew at park mall for modelling.
dont get the wrong idea uh?
i'm not fit for modelling.
cos of my height. ):
170 only.
only gerald went for the interview.
wah the girls there...
whoo!~
haha,
dont worry baby,
i never do anything funny.
so ya. (:

went to park mall toilet to gek sai.
went we get out of the toilet,
thn we realised it was raining cats and dogs.
lol!
here comes the chuah sai part.
while i was talking to gerald,
one fucking loud thunder scared the living daylights out of me and gerald.
wah lan eh!
fucking loud eh!

then we chiong through te rain to get to the mrt.
now i'm back home,
enjoying my killing spree in dota,
against storm spirit.
take care readers!

-sign off-
yang love may

2009-02-26T16:38:00.002+08:00

on tuesday,
i felt another heart wrenching and disappointing thing.
on tuesday,
4k and baby were with me.
after training,
we had no money to go back home,
so we had to walk to gerald's house and take money.
when we got to admiralty station,
the SMRT idiot told us that there is still last train to pasir ris,
so we chiong.

halfway through the journey then we realised that,
the train terminates at toa payoh.
and the last train terminates at ang mo kio.
then, it was 0010.
midnight.
i called my parents and ask them for solutions for me to get home.
instead of getting worried,
they scolded me for late going home,
and said that i was STUPID to eat my money away.

then they said that what they are doing,
is CARING for me.

the care i wanted is not like that.

i'm 18 and i still need permission to go out.
i can't just report where am i going and then go out.
NO!
i can't.

this is not what i want.
i will fucking wait till the day,
when they will treat me like an adult.

i will wait...

i love my baby!
10 feb 2009

2009-02-24T22:29:00.002+08:00

2009-02-09T16:04:00.003+08:00

hey people!
finally finished my streak of lion dance for CNY.
i will post up the pics soon ya? (:

we're gonna out lion on valentine's day.
it's yet another lonely valentine's day.
lol!

but although my lion dance streak ends,
it will never stop.
it's the passion that keeps me going. (:

i somehow miss my old friends.
ben loh, ah ong, alex soh and warren.
these people have always been my side when i'm down or happy.
also, not forgetting my 4 大 jiu cheng. (:

友谊万岁！

2009-02-06T11:47:00.002+08:00

hey people!
jaymiie's not my gf.
i did like her.
but our personality is very different.
so i decided not to proceed.
i did told her too.
she was ok. (:

then recently out lion spree!
woohoo~!
learnt alot of things that the fucking rp ig never taught us.
fuck rp!
lol!

but yesterday was a very sickening day.
the last tioh,
got people make fun of our lion.
keep hitting the lion head,
and stuffing the orange in the lion's mouth.
fuck the fucking fuckers.

2009-01-31T20:05:00.001+08:00

hey people!
recently out lion.
then no time update.
when free,
i'll update.
take care people. (:

2009-01-23T11:07:00.002+08:00

heyhey!
my last day school is today!
wahaha!
people who are still studying,
you're jealous uh? :p

today go outlion at meridien jc.
2 lions, 1 dragon and 1 God of Wealth.
ah pui is the cai shen.
he really look like one!
then after performing the dragon,
2guan actually wanted to pop the party popper.
but failed then pass it to zhaokai.
zhaokai tried to pop it and guess what?
he blast it on banguan's face!
cos bg was just nice walking by and so zhun,
and suay suay,
kena pop by ahkai.
his specs flew!
the whole school was laughing like fuck.

then it was lions' time.
ahboon and ahhe pluck green.
ah girl and gerald went to play with the students.
ah girl keep taking a girl's water bottle.
the 2nd time ah girl took the bottle,
the girl scream like queen of pain in dota.
fucking loud.
lol!

in other words, quite fun la.
then here i am now,
in school.
it's the last day of my school peeps!
jealous ya?
piggie's jealous.
you should be too.
happy 牛 year!

*i want hughug my piggie!
i miss her and i love her!
wahaha!

2009-01-22T19:16:00.002+08:00

guys, see this pic?

she is mine!

she is my zhuzhu!

no one can snatch her away from me.

if you do,

i will give you knuckle sandwich. (:

just kidding!

i will just be sad and angry.

oh!

i must go feed her wheat already.

otherwise this zhuzhu will be angry with me!

buhbye! (:

2009-01-21T09:12:00.002+08:00

hey people!
it's the last week of my school!
lol!
now we left 2 more days!
wahaha!
i miss piggie.
piggie, do u miss me? :p

yesterday's class is very fun.
communication,
we are supposed to come up with games and play in the class.
then we played weiming's group's game,
called copycat.
we are supposed to act out a certain word and guess the word.
then,
the funny part is,
from a word baboon,
we act out everything.
then came many different answers.
monkey, donkey, chipanzee, penguin.
lol!

but i can't wait for holiday.
i need a break.
lol!

2009-01-19T09:56:00.001+08:00

2009-01-19T09:23:00.003+08:00

ah gong went home already. (:
yesterday during cleaning,
i found out that my house actually has a lot of dust!
then i've found many things that had been missing all these while.
except my stussy berms and fsas belt. ):

saturday went to penin and bedok to get what i needed for CNY.
a black haversack,
2 shirt with chinese and japanese art,
2 berms, one white one black,
done with my fringe, but slightly frizzy,
and cologne was bought.
i will post and example of what kind of shirt i bought. (:
ohya, i cut my fringe short too.
cut half the usual length as mom complained that i look like ghost. :o

*i'm wearing out, becoming weak.
i need blood...

2009-01-16T14:28:00.003+08:00

爱要耐心等待，

仔细寻找，

感觉很重要。

宁可空白了手，

等候一次，

真心的拥抱。

我相信在这个世界上，

一定会遇到，

对的人出现，

在眼角。

2009-01-14T10:04:00.002+08:00

well now you got to where you wanted like i knew you would.

cash, car, house.

it's all good.

that is why you never come around here no more.

like you did before.

you've got it all that the way it seems,

looks like you,

live your dreams.

and i hope your life has turned out for the better now.

when i'm not around.

2009-01-13T10:58:00.002+08:00

2009-01-13T10:55:00.001+08:00

haiyo people.
i'm sorry if i never update for a nong nong time ya? (:
cos i got no time.
plus i'm very tireed nowadays.

i miss a particular her.
she should know who she is.
haha!

2008-12-19T14:48:00.002+08:00

retro!

top: ah kai.

bottom: me.

2008-12-11T12:00:00.000+08:00

No one ever lied straight to your face.

No one ever stabbed you in the back.

You might think I'm happy,

But I'm not gonna be okay.

Everybody always gave you what you wanted.

Never had to work, it was always there.

You don't know what it's like.

2008-12-09T11:14:00.008+08:00

gut cutter again. (:

cold storage.

grinding.

note: there is a ghost in this picture. find her. (:

gut cutting.

scalding pillar.

yin yang lion.

cute right?

these are the pics i took for the 3 days of "outing lion".

me and her are no more.

take care, girl.

2008-12-04T13:34:00.002+08:00

and this is not the time or place for us to speak like this

and if i had the thought,

i'd never dream of it.

so dry your hollow eyes and let's go down to the water.

in a different time or place,

the words can make more sense.

in a perfect world,

the future wouldn't make a dent.

so dry your hollow eyes and let's go down to the water.

2008-12-02T10:53:00.003+08:00

i wonder how,

i wonder why.

yesterday you told me 'bout the blue blue sky.

but all that i can see,

is a yellow lemon tree.

i'm turning my head,

up and down.

i'm turning turning turning turning turning around.

but all that i can see,

is just another lemon tree.

2008-12-01T13:16:00.001+08:00

curse my enemies forever,

let's slit our wrist and burn down something beautiful.

this desperation,

leaves me overjoyed,

with fading lights that lead us past the lives that we destroyed.

2008-11-28T11:04:00.003+08:00

2008-11-24T09:52:00.000+08:00

everything's ok.
everything's clarified.
i'm still with her.
i'm glad i did so. (:

devastated.

2008-11-19T10:37:00.005+08:00

i saw the comments she wrote for him.
one word,
disappointed.
or rather not.
it was a mix of feelings.

anger, jealousy, disappointment and lastly,
devastated.

i've really come to the point where,
i'm lost.
i just feel like screaming.

I WANT TO RELEASE THE DEVIL INSIDE ME!
WOULD THE DEVIL PLEASE HELP ME?

i'm having doubts.
on whether to give her the "black thing"
i'm not sure of what to do.

WOULD THE DEVIL PLEASE TELL ME WHAT TO DO?

THIS IS KILLING ME.

spare me,
please.
spare me of this nonsense.

i'm suffering,
can't you see?

i'm hurt,
can't you see?

-sign off-
her goat?

upset. ):

2008-11-18T16:31:00.003+08:00

recently,
i cannot meet her.
our timing all clashed.
when we've finally agreed to meet tmr,
she told me that she had forgotten that she had to settle some prom night stuff tmr.
nvm.

then she told me if friday's bbq is gonna start late,
she wont be going.
it really saddens me.
it really set me thinking.

it's not that i wanna doubt you but,
i can't help it.
i'm sorry.

furthermore,
she told me that she had already so used to not contacting me.
i teared.
yes,
u got it right.
u've seen the right thing.
i've teared.

i kept thinking the whole night.
is it gonna be the end?

WHO THE FUCK IS THE JASON GUY?
WHY THE FUCK IS HE ALWAYS SENDING HER THOSE KIND OF COMMENTS?

i just don't know.
i feel that i'm going mad.
i'm not myself anymore.
my whole mind is all about her.
i dont know what to do already.

but i'm not gonna give up.
i'll hold on to this relationship.
because of one very good reason.

I LOVE HER VERY MUCH.

one of my friends saw me around in school,
and complained that i look haggard,
and had lost some weight.
she asked me why.
i told her,
personal stuff.

i dont know what to do.
all i know is that,

"the hardest part of holding on is letting go."

should i hold on?
or,
what?
i dont wish to say it.

i guess i'll hold on,
and hope for the best.

-sign off-
her goat,
always.

reflections over!

2008-11-17T10:33:00.002+08:00

hey peeps!
long time no post.
cos i got no time,
busy preparing for reflections.
now that reflections' over,
it's 1 down 3 to go!

reflections performance was a success,
no falls, no mistakes.
i'm proud of myself after performing for reflections.
cos i never fall, trip or hit by anything.
give myself a round of applause!

but anyway, have to thank the seniors,
for giving us such tough training.
without the tough training of
jumping the stairs, running round the school,
shuttle running, jumping stools and push-ups,
i think we wouldn't have made reflections a success.
our efforts had paid off.
cheers! ^^

-sigh off-
*haiz...*
her goat.

bad day

2008-11-14T09:18:00.002+08:00

she didn't talk to me like that before.
i know she missed me like hell.
i miss her like hell too.

but then again,
she never did talk to me like that before...

2008-11-14T09:14:00.001+08:00

sorry for the late post cos recently i had no time.

9nov,
i went sing k with her.
as it was our 2nd month anniversary.
sang many old songs.
damn fun. (:

-sign off-
her goat

tmr!

2008-11-07T11:40:00.003+08:00

Event(s):
tomorrow out lion. 9am till ???
15nov Reflections performance, luminous dragon, TRCC, 8pm.
16nov ah ma birthday.

Announcements:
forming dragon team for performance, competition etc.
need people badly.
requires 15 people.
training provided.

yesterday training,
chet ming and yuan sheng came.
i was happy,
not because chet ming came.
but because yuan sheng came.
because he is the only one that is able to cliques with the 4Ks.
and he allows us to play remixes.
most importantly,
he even ask us if his remix is nice or not!

this kind of senior in rp is damn rare man.
plus yangzhao yesterday suddenly talk nicely to me.
i think he got something wrong.
lol!
like weird ah,
for someone who always discriminates you and look down on you,
to talk to you nicely.

right now,
i feel nothing but fatique.

-sign off-
her goat.

2008-11-07T11:37:00.000+08:00

皇帝 万岁爷 - 皇上万岁万岁，万万岁.